Where does the time go?

This about sums it up!

Getting Lost Along the Way

Back at it and feeling ALIVE! I've only had a week off but it's so nice to get back to the program and plan! 

This has been a very long road and you get lost along the way sometimes. I have been very faithful to my fitness routines/programs but the meal plans well that's a different story. I seemed to have fallen off the wagon - I would be good during the week and then blow it on the weekends. I am sure so many people can relate to this. It seems like I keep needing to learn this lesson over and over again. DIET IS EVERYTHING! What we put in shows with the outcome.I have managed to continue my vigorous workouts but gained weight - it's simple you cannot get results and cheat - you are only cheating yourself! I'm human and I failed time and time again but I'm back on track so let's see how far it takes me:) Failure is all part of success:)

I will keep pursuing this dream because it truly makes me feel ALIVE!

You will care!

 

 

This is the most TRUTHFUL statement I can make!
I have found in my journey that I try to not let a slip up bother me but here is the truth for me. I fall off the wagon and then it is like an avalanche - one small cheat leads to another or a larger one and then it is out of control and you wonder why you are not where you want to be. I looked back and saw that my diet was suffering - not during the week, I was bang on, but on the weekends when I was home. I would miss meals/snacks and then have a little chocolate which leads to sour jujubes and on and on. Always thinking its okay I;ll just work it off tomorrow but that doesn't do it and the more you eat the sweet the more you want it.

The 3 of us

This is my beautiful family. I am truly blessed to have such amazing daughters. Both of my girls are also into fitness and hopefully this will continue on with them throughout their lives.

One day

Life is so funny sometimes. Everywhere you go people struggle, people are stressed out, never have enough time for anything. Are we really living the lives we want? I am guessing not! Most of us work to survive and work too much or too hard and don't love what we do but we have no choice but to do it so we can survive. 

Life is about living - taking chances- doing what makes you feel alive. It is scary to put yourself out there and try things or take that leap of faith but living with the "what ifs" are even worse.

I have just started to take some of these chances and I haven't always been successful but I tried and at least I can say that. I have pride in knowing that I pursued some of my dreams and I will continue to move forward and pursue more. I want to look back on my life and say I loved deeply, I took some chances, I was successful and I impacted people lives in a positive way. Will your life be worth watching?

I see strength!

When I first saw the above picture, I immediately related to it. It made me go back and think about all those mistakes, failure, heartache, disappointments in my past but only momentarily because I was learning and taking valuable lessons from all of it. I would spend time wondering if it was ever going to get better, if it would ever stop being such a struggle.

 

The truth is today I do look in the mirror and I am a different person. I SEE STRENGTH, PRIDE, and BEAUTY like never before. I am no longer burdened with guilt and disappointment. I am not holding any grudges and gave forgiveness where it was needed. I am setting goals and obtaining them and this is being seen by very important people - my daughters - this is the kind of examples I want to set for them.

 

My life is good right now and I haven't remembered being so content. I am ALIVE, not just breathing!

 

 

THE LION

 

While at the gym last week I was working out with a guy who mentioned how he works out all the time to impress the ladies and he gave me the impression that the only reason he worked out was to make other people like him or accept him. I told him that I really didn't care what anyone thought of me or what I looked like. He seemed stunned that I said this. I then continued to tell him that I was at the gym for me, I love what I am doing and that is because it isn't for anyone else. I don't care if it impresses you that I lift more than someone or that I live at the gym or that I am fit and look good in a pair of jeans. I am healthy and strong and feel great and its for me.

 

I wonder if as we age we care less and less what people think of us and start to care enough about ourselves more. I haven't always thought this way, I also was like that guy at the gym. I worried about what people thought all the time and hoped they would like me and accept me. I wanted to be whatever it was they wanted. I would say YES even when I wanted to say NO. This is not the case today, I live my life and if you don't like me or you don't like what I'm doing, its okay I really don't mind anymore and you have every right to your opinion however it is no concern of mine!

 

 

Another Milestone!

On June 8th, 2013 - I posted a blog about reaching a milestone and hitting 300 lbs on the leg press machine at my gym. At the time this was such an amazing accomplishment and I remember feeling so incredible that I could actually do this. Last week Jan.17th, 2014 to be exact - lol- I pressed 500 lbs on the same leg press machine. 

In June if you asked me if I thought I would ever "stack" the leg press machine (stack meaning pressing all the weight on the machine-the entire stack) I would have said no way but I actually had it in my mind that eventually I was going to do it. I was going to be that girl at the gym who stacks the leg press - no big deal really - lol - actually ITS A HUGE DEAL - you just have to make those goals and follow them. It takes time and some days it seems near impossible but there it is - 200lbs heavier than in June. Your body will really go where your mind takes it :)

Easy?

I guess it has been a while since I have sat down to blog about my journey. Lets go back and see what has happened…….Christmas has passed and with the holidays brings some struggles like all the treats people make and the killer almond bark that a fellow worker brings me - OMG that stuff is great. It has now been 10 months of this program I have been on. Some days I think I should be ready by now and I just keep reminding myself that this is a long process and I need to just relax and enjoy it. 

So did I indulge at Christmas - yes I did. Did I feel guilty and beat myself up a bit - YEP - I did that too -lol! I also decided to get on a scale for the first time since the summer and I have gained 7 lbs - pretty sure its muscle weight but you have to be prepared for that and not FREAK out cause I wanna cry a little….lol! When you put in the amount of gym time that I do and I still feel I need to drop some weight then u gain weight - I now understand why I don't use the scale. I just need to trust my coach and the process. 

I had a girl come to me at the gym who was very stressed out and has some of the same fitness goals as myself and she was not in a good place. She thought she was going to be show-ready in as little as 4-6 months and I just told her to relax - give herself a break and take the time needed to do it and do it properly and its not EASY and it does hurt all the time and you do have to sacrifice a lot to do this but if you really want it you will do it. It is like having to constantly fight and push yourself beyond what you think you can handle and then handle more - you have to work for every single thing and it won't come easy and it won't last unless you keep doing it.

This training is not for everyone and I would never push it on anyone but staying active and healthily and taking care of yourself is so important. This is the message I want to send forward…….Do it for yourself and do it to feel amazing - nothing better than beating yourself time and time again and thinking wow I can't believe I actually did that.

Share the Journey!

When I was first asked to write about my fitness journey by a colleague at work, I was a little apprehensive. I asked her if I could do it a few months down the road when I was further along. She was persistent and I agreed to write something, but that it may be short and sweet. 

I was worried about having my thoughts and blog out there for everyone to see, how funny really because it is out here for anyone to see but what I mean is people close to me, friends, Facebook pals, co-workers, etc. I was worried about what they would think and worried about letting people read the struggle. Then it dawned on me……. I am writing this blog and mapping out this journey to help people. I want to inspire others and help in their journeys. 

My daughters were SO excited when this article was published - they told their friends their mom was in a magazine and tweeted it and everyone was so excited. I however was there feeling nervous again and kinda unsure if I liked all the attention it was bringing me. My oldest daughter Gillian said to me " MOM, u have worked so hard, you never post anything about yourself, you never talk about your accomplishments, post this on facebook!" She was right, I needed to be proud of where I have come and how much I have accomplished to date. I think I have been waiting until I get to my ideal "stage" ready state before I share my stuff and that's isn't the point is it………it's to share the journey!

I guess it has been 8 crazy, wonderful, exhausting, and rewarding months so far. I look forward to the future and all that will come with that. Until then I will keep pushing forward, I will keep updating everyone and if you haven't been taking the time for yourself - YOUR TIME IS NOW! Start doing something that makes you happy and share your journey!

Wonder Woman

Some days it actually feels like I am wonder woman - I wonder how I even accomplish what I do in a day - in a day. Here is a typical day for me - 

5:30am - Wake up 

7:00am - Start work - I have a 1/2 hr drive to work each way

3:30pm - Leave work - run any quick errands in the city before heading home

4:30pm - GYM - 

6:30pm - If all went well I'm leaving the gym

6:30-7:30pm - Making dinner / eating / cleaning up dishes, etc

7:30-8:30pm - Prepping for the next day - driving girls where ever and picking them up if needed

8:30-10:30pm - Misc stuff like laundry, cleaning up house, chatting with girls, garbage out, hot tub checked, oh did the grass get cut? What about getting the groceries and lunches and folding the laundry and killing the spiders and setting traps for the mice - really - YEP - welcome to my world and that is just a piece of it. 

10:30-11:00 - Try to be in bed and check emails, etc and rest to do it all again the next day :)

So here it is - if I can do it - so can you - I am not complaining here, I am simply pointing out how crazy my life is and to some degree it has been my choice but when there is a will there is a way! So wonder woman I am.

 Here's to all the wonder women out there - keep pushing forward - the sacrifice will be worth it!

Willpower

Willpower is a very strong tool, however you do have to be ready for change. I could not stand where I am today a year ago or even 10 years ago. I wasn't ready and I was not going to make that change. I knew I wanted more from my fitness but wasn't willing to put the time, effort, dedication, and sacrifice in to get the results I wanted. Therefore, I got the results I worked for and that wasn't much. I seemed to yoyo like most people, down 10 then back up 12 then down 15 and up 10 - back and forth driving myself crazy along the way. I wished for the body I wanted everyday but I never woke up with it. 

One day something changes or you just have enough of saying and thinking and you decide to start doing - I said I would quit smoking - when I decided to quit - I quit - I was ready for change and I then had the willpower to not start again. I then decided to get into the best shape of my life and finally get strong and healthy - the stage is a goal - I needed to push myself to new levels of fitness and train harder than ever before. If I wanted it - I needed to change. 

I have people come to me now and ask me or comment on my willpower and how do I do this and how could I change my life so much and can I help them, etc. I always say the same things, YES I will help anyway I can, this level of fitness is not for everyone, you need to be ready and willing to change and make the sacrifices in order to be successful. If they are willing to change then anything is possible. I am just a regular person like you and putting in the blood, sweat, and tears ( oh yes tears - today I was a little weepy - it was leg day) you can achieve anything, weight loss, toning, build strength, and even compete on stage. 

So this really is the truth - people are not better than you or have more willpower than you - they have just embraced the change and you can too!

Family First

Thanksgiving weekend up at brothers cottage has started to become a tradition. I have to be very honest when I say it's the last place I want to go - why u ask - cause it's great food - booze - no gym - I'll be right off my program - I'll be tempted to eat chocolate - Oreos - pies - potatoes - bacon - Etc - etc -etc. 

Well this is where we need to be - family - together eating crap - playing games - laughing at papa - enjoying the amazing fall trees as they shower us with leaves. This weekend the gym doesn't matter - it will be there Monday- my diet is suffering a little but it won't kill me. The memories that we will all have together and remember is what's really important- Family is always first!

Only the strong survive

It seems like forever since I blogged and its amazing how the times flies by. I wanted to be able to express to everyone how I have felt every step of the way and I guess the last few months have been very busy and very difficult as well. 

I am still strong on the road to the stage but August had a few minor setbacks - one being a music festival in Lucknow and the other was an annual camping trip with my entire family and friends. So what that means is the diet suffers a bit. Had some drinks and some bad - but good food. 

Here is what I didn't expect - the guilt - the guilt that comes with that is terrible. I felt like I had to do more cardio and extra long days to repair what I thought was damage I was doing. It is such a mental game. 

My coach describes this journey to the stage perfectly - he says - It's a marathon, not a sprint - and I am a sprinter let me tell you and it is hard to just know that this takes a long time and tons of sacrifice to get there. So for the last few months there hasn't been alot to say except the same meal plan and still following the program at the gym, I think I was getting lost in all of it a bit and not feeling the direction that I wanted to feel.

That brings me to today and I am on a new 12 week sub-preshow prep and this changed my diet and programming so it has brought me back to life. I have completed the first week and I won't lie - it was hell - sore everywhere and wanting to give up a few times but this is when I realized that maybe I have used up all my weak and all that is left is STRONG! 

Progress

So it's very hard to post a progress picture when your not "there" yet but this just shows the progress along the way. So as off Aug.1 - I'm down 20lbs and my body fat is now at 17%. Weight is 135. I guess weight really doesn't matter and my coach doesn't go by weight or measurements - he goes by look - however after 4 months I wanted to see where I was. I won't get on the scale again for another 12 weeks then I'll update again. It is amazing to visually see the change - it's hard to see when it's my body. The hard work and clean eating is paying off and I look forward to my new program that is coming next week :)

PUSH

This road is not an easy one and you have to constantly PUSH yourself. You push through the hurt, push through the tears, push through the setbacks, push through the good days and push through the bad ones. It seems all I do is push and push, however things are happening. I have been off the scale and no weigh-ins or measurements for some time so I can't update you with my results but I can say this, I feel good, I know I have lost weight and I have tightened up forsure. I have people telling me all the time now that they can see the results. They see the muscle definition and the loss of weight. I think it is harder for me to see a huge transformation because I see myself daily but I can see the shape in my arms, shoulders, and legs - oh and abs are really coming - 4 pack and working on the 6 - lol. My next weight and measurements I'll be sure to post however I don't really know when my coach is going to do that. My advice is even if you have a week or two where you don't feel or see any results just PUSH through it and PERSIST UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS!

True strength!

Isn't this the absolute truth! The workout is the easy part - the diet is a constant thing - you have to be very prepared and you have to have control all the time. I have 2 teenage girls who still very much enjoy icecream - popcorn - candy - all that fun bad evil food - lol. So I do have some of that stuff in my house so I have to always steer clear of the sweet stuff. It would be a lie to tell you that I haven't had any of that stuff it's just that I don't have it very much and as a small treat I will indulge a little. When I do have something like that, I feel guilty and I have heard other people say that but it is a weird feeling - like a huge let down and I have to remind myself how far I have come and how great I am doing and how it has been 17 weeks since my last drop of alcohol - so the occasional cookie or frozen yogurt isn't the end of the world. I do however find that I add in a little extra cardio - that makes me feel better some how - lol! I wonder if everyone who trains and eats this clean feels the same way. It would be nice if the gym was all it took to get there but diet is so important and really it is the majority of the journey. I would say that I have it all down pat - 99% of the time and well that other 1% - hummmmm it's not gonna kill me and hell it keeps me sane :)

Do it !

So what's stopping you from doing all those things you have always wanted to do? Chances are it is YOU that is stopping you, one excuse after another. This is a story that I know all too well. I would daydream, obsess, think about getting to the stage but had every excuse not to do it. I also have a career path that I have always wanted to pursue and tried 10 years ago but circumstances were different then and I was not able to proceed in that direction. However here I am today and what is stopping me - well 10 years - I tried that excuse to myself and guess what I have always wanted to go for it so I am going to give it a try - if I am successful then it will change me and girls lives for the better and if I am not then maybe that is not my path, but I'll be damned if I don't at least try and go for it!

Over and over I hear the word "YOLO" which means you only live once and that is so true. I want to make the most out of my life and inspire my girls and others. This path I have chosen is not for everyone and it has taken me years to get where I am today. My advice to you is go and do what it is your heart desires because it will keep bringing you back to the same place years later and you will still want to do it and you may not get the chance. Live happy, make others happy, take pride in what you do every single day, make a difference and make them remember who you are!

New program - Leg Day!

This week has been by far the hardest training week yet. It is always a hard week when coming off a transition week (rest week), however all I can say is WOW! I think my coach said the words " SHOCK AND AWE" and I was more thinking along the lines of him trying to kill me...lol! So my new program is still kinda normal 6 days a week with more HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) and 3 lift days - the interval training is now much more difficult timing in at 61 minutes plus core training afterwards. Wednesday is now leg day and today is Sunday and this is the first time I could talk about leg day - lol - yep it was that bad! I am not going to sugar coat this at all - TERRIBLE - it was mental. My trainer said sorry a few times, I think he felt bad for me- lol. SO here is a little picture of this workout - starts with 3 sets of 40 walking lunges 45lbs dumb bells each hand ), can you picture how this feels? We take 30-45 sec breaks between in set and stretch - it is timed so try that and see how your heart rate has no chance of recovering in 30 seconds and then on to the next set. Then Hack Squats, One legged leg press, Leg curls, Glute machine/bench step-ups, then kneeling leg curl and the hip abductor/adductor machine. Seriously this workout the entire time was so mental - I talked to myself the entire 90 minutes - ya it was that long - I had to push myself so hard. Your legs are done after the lunges yet you still go on to the next. When we went to the smith machine to do the Hack squats ( our gym is not equipped with a hack machine ) my legs actually gave out - I dropped right to the floor- it was insane. My mind had the weight and I was good but my legs gave out. I rested for a second got up and said " ok lets get this done", and on I went. This by far was the hardest I have worked ever I think - wow - I wonder if  I will be saying this every 6 weeks, lol!

It was a tough week and talk about sore, I had to have ice cold showers to try and help with the pain. It is hard to stay focused and happy when something like that is happening. This is why I waiting until today to post this, if I had posted this Wednesday night, I may have had to put a 18+ rating on it - haha! Tomorrow is Monday, a new week and here it is - I SURVIVED - and I will continue to push hard and get stronger. Your mind is a amazing tool and your body can handle incredible things :)

Stay focused everyone!

Changing Focus

14 Weeks ago - I switched bottles around -lol! What an old stack compared to the new. Sometimes you just need to change focus. What is it that you are trying to accomplish and what is standing in your way. What changes are needed to succeed and then you make that change if it is what you really want. This is where only the strong survive. You can talk the talk but can you walk it? How many times have you heard people complain about things like their weight, job, marriage/relationship, yet they do nothing about it. So it can't be that awful if you are willing to live each and everyday of your precious life in it. I think we all know that you need to stop fearing change and just leap......have faith, and the rest will work itself out.

The key I have found is ONE DAY AT A TIME! We are so much stronger than we think we are! When you change your focus , you change your life, and for me this has been an amazing experience so far. Do what you need to do, not what you think others want you to do, and most of all BE HAPPY!